A response to Neil Gaiman's Armageddon/tea choice tweet.
I'm one of those undecisive ones, you know one of those who when offered a choice between Armageddon and tea dithers over the type of tea. It ain't because I'm some kind of tea snob, no, it's all bitter leaves to me, it's rather because I've got some kind of obsessive compulsive thingy and deep down I know that something worse than Armageddon is gonna get me if I have Earl Grey more than once a day.
What's all this got to do with Jag Wilson you ask. Everything and nothing, but you want him so you gotta listen to my tale. This was back in July and I was ricocheting down the jive downtown lookin' to get out of the heat. I was dithering between the movies, but they were all weak summer swill, and droppin' in the pool hall. It was kind of fuzzy thinking because it was so hot you know how it gets here seein' as you work in this slum of a police station with no air-conditioning. Ouch, no no I'm not dockin' you none, no need to rough me up.
Where was I, oh right, ricocheting down the jive. Anyways, that's when I first met Jag. You know how he is, summer dreamer and all. Right away he wanted to be my friend. But I'm not like that, no I didn't trust his smooth talkin'. It don't surprise me none you lookin' for him now.
What's that you say. Yeah, so I hung with him but he was the only one down there who wasn't purple-bellied and it don't mean he trusted me none. Kept telling me about ghosts, he was a little whacked you see, but he wasn't any worse than the drivel at the multiplex. All that sci-fi garbage warps your mind I tell you.
Anyways, Jag tells me how one of his ghosts are going to get him in the Institute's diamond exhibit. Some wishy-washy tale that I didn't believe about his ghost pals seein' the future and guidin' us through the alarms. I didn't believe them but of course ya know me. I dithered. But I tell you, I didn't rob no Arty. How'd I fence those diamonds anyways. I haven't seen Jag since the robbery. All honest and everything. No, no, I didn't see Jag since before the robbery. I'm innocent I tell ya.