I nestle in my bed as her body spoons against me to cradle the swell of my belly. Her touch promises a gentleness that I know is a lie. Yet, I savor the moments I have to spend with her. Our vibrations leave us chattering in a private conversation.
My skin tenses as the god's footsteps approach. Our chattering grows hasty. Her caresses tell of love, but the god separates us. She slides away and I shake. I know what comes next. Her fist.
Punch.
The door spins as I crash through. Stars revolve around me and light the kickers with blasts of cherry color, the crashes coming faster. Her punch drives me faster, rebounding in our world as I spy god through the grease-smeared plexiglass. I feel the wound she dealt to me more painful than any of the electrical jolts or off-kilter crashes as I careen about my day job.
The god slaps the flipper and keeps me from the black hole where I want to go. The hole that ends it all and brings me back to my love. Regardless, of what she's done, I'm drawn to her.
I pray.
The god nudges and traps me. The music squeals with a counterpoint rhythm from the digits of the scorecard flapping.
The god is good, but not good enough to keep this pinball from my love. I evade the flipper and head home.
This scene was partially prompted by Tron; but then I went a slightly different direction. Your comments and constructive criticism appreciated.
Ultra-retro Tron in fact, never thought of pinball as so sexual before, guess it has a lot of holes.
ReplyDeleteMakes me think about how much I love the look of big gaudy graphic pinball machines.
lol - my brain did a flip in the middle of this when I worked out what you were talking about. Worth reading for that alone.
ReplyDelete@Adam, yes retro. I remember being little and intrigued by the pinball gaudy flash.
ReplyDelete@Stephen, glad the "flip" worked.
How do you think he does it? I don't know. What makes him so good?
ReplyDeleteYou pulled me in with the sexy, I was intrigued by this god power, stunned by the punch and its aftermath, wondering what the heck. With the image "The god slaps the flipper" I did the head thunk and said...damn, that's good!
ReplyDeleteHa, good spin on the classic "god is good line," and very amusing abstraction of love and theology into pinball.
ReplyDelete@Stephen, you've now got the tune stuck in my head.
ReplyDelete@Deb, I like the play-by-play!
@John, glad you enjoyed the tweak on theology.
Very good Aidan, I thought it was a man at first, until the end, on the second read it all made perfect sense. A very unusual perspective.
ReplyDeleteThat was impressive! Never thought of a pinball machine in quite THAT way before. Wow! Just... wow.
ReplyDeleteIt took three paragraphs to figure out what was really going on. Finely executed reveal of this pinball world. It was worth going back for a second read. Great job, Aidan.
ReplyDelete"Our vibrations leave us chattering in a private conversation." That was my favourite line.
Oh this is fantastic! Incredibly original stuff, excellent description - I can almost hear the machine clattering away!
ReplyDeleteThis was incredibly original. I was never really a major pinball player, so I didn't get it for a while, but I loved the sensuality and violence of the piece. :)
ReplyDelete@Steve Green: glad it hung together and made sense.
ReplyDelete@Ganymeder: glad I've opened your eyes to the life of pinballs :)
@Alan: I'm intrigued when different people figure out the pinball. My sambo told me that she knew within the first paragraph, but then she probably has to deal with my warped way of looking at things every day :)
@Icy: Thanks. I tend to be overly visual, so it is good to know when the aural aspects work.
@Seleste: thanks; I liked the dual-way of thinking about this.
Aidan you had me right to the end. I didn't guess where this was going. Lots of layers happening. Very impressive the way you weave god through it.
ReplyDeleteit took a couple of reads but finally caught on amazing how you were able to take a piball machine and create a sexual metaphor out of it. reminded me of Tommy the movie by the Who. Pinball Wizard.
ReplyDeleteI tried to place what was happening, and it all unraveled at the very end. Beautiful! I'll never think of pinball the same way again.
ReplyDeleteInteresting concept and I once I caught onto what was happening - around the middle - I thought of Tron. I liked the idea of the ball thinking of the player as God. Who's the devil in this world I wonder?
ReplyDeleteGreat stuff! I about got a seizure from the description, but there's few things more chaotic than a pinball machine in action, so it was certainly apt. Thanks for the good read.
ReplyDeleteL'Assie, glad you enjoyed the weave.
ReplyDeleteLionel, I haven't seen Tommy the movie, but after Stephen's comments earlier I did have to listen to Pinball Wizard.
Tessa, I'm not sure I follow your unravelled metaphor; is this like unravelling a knot?
GP, your comment makes me very happy that this also got someone else thinking about tron. Good question about the devil; perhaps there will be a part two at some point.
Matt, glad the writing worked with the metaphors; didn't really intend to induce seizures (well, maybe the punch was intended to be somewhat shocking...)
Gosh this is so clever! I love the way a story can make you think about everyday things so differently.
ReplyDeleteRebecca, I'm glad to introduce you to the secret lives of pinballs ;)
ReplyDeleteVery nice. Very, very nice. I did spend two thirds of that ready utterly confused and dissatisfied and then you went and you worked your magic didn't you and revealed something beautiful. Like I said - very nice.
ReplyDeleteDavid, glad you made it through the confusing part and that once the reveal opens up it, the payoff makes that confusion worth it.
ReplyDelete