Race riots flow. Race riots fan hatred. Red reaches round. Always violent. No mistake blood bleeds its deep hue.
Navy bears night's promise, knows old Chinese proverb. Her skin as smooth as any geisha's, concealing how deep the wounds touch. Her tongue flows over her enemy in thick flowing saliva.
Orange and peach and lemons may be sunset's pastels, but they pale and fail. We will forget them.
Whites are most prevalent. They claim purity and that the god's favor is twisted into their fibers. But, they fall stained when the spin cycle ends and they are discarded.
For some reason this reminded me of the laundry, and how red stains my white socks pink...
ReplyDeleteI'd be disappointed if I failed to get across the central metaphor that I wanted to hang the deeper ponderings upon.
DeleteDeeper and more solid colours always have a more profound effect than the pastels. This is quite poetic in the reading.
ReplyDeleteI love the imagery! It's almost poetic.
Delete@Steve, it does seem unfair that some people affect us more powerfully than others, but unlike the laundry we can be different colors to different people.
Delete@Sonia, thanks... it's been an overly busy week, so I decided to emphasize the imagery and more try to capture a poetic metaphor than a story.
This reads very funky and dramatic, which makes the end truly funny. Though one of your shortest, this possibly my favorite piece of yours, and definitely my favorite #fridayflash of the week.
ReplyDeleteI was trying to get a slightly different voice in the different paragraphs, and I think that lends itself to part of the funkiness.
DeleteVivid imagery. I'm intrigued.
ReplyDelete........dhole
Thanks, there are interesting ways this could be turned into a fun surrealistic longer story and if that happens, I'll post a comment here.
DeleteRed stains, and yet in itself is vibrant - as everyone before me has said vivid imagery and yet the rhythm in the words gives it that poetic feel. The colours of war are many and varied but each have their impact.
ReplyDeleteYour beginning to give me ideas about the Great Red War of 1382. Fun.
DeleteCool analogy and very poetic.
ReplyDeleteThank-you!
DeleteMmm I wonder if that red was blood. Although that would wash away and not stain...
ReplyDeleteI may have toyed with the metaphor too thoroughly. The red isn't blood but there are similarities to the way it embroils the emotions and results in more destruction.
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