Friday, September 7, 2012

If It Comes in a Can, It Must Be Good

"Bampton, you still up there? Don't make me pour those faeries down your throat. Again."

A breeze caught the tuft of Bampton's hair that even when slicked with hair product managed to stick upright. He fiddled with the flat tin on his desk and the clothespin beside it.

"Bampton, I'd better see your shadow racing across the yard. If I get another note from the school that you're late, no more Quidditch practice with your friends for a month."

Bampton sighed. His mother did not understand. She thought he didn't want to eat the faeries because he was subscribing to that vegan literature the goody two shoes was spreading at school. He figured they were already dead, so it wasn't carnivore-ism. He just hated the smell.

He pinched the clothespin over his nose and peeled back the tin's lid. A dozen faeries lie side by side. The faces blue. They stank just like a rotten walrus washed up on the beach. Even through the clothespin. He scrunched his eyes shut and poured the faeries into his mouth. They were soft, gooey things, and he hated the texture. His eyes popped open as he floated and bumped his knees against the bottom of the table. The novelty of flying still held a little magic. He grinned as he grasped the edges of his window to fling himself into the sky.

Time to fly to school.

18 comments:

  1. Even with the Harry Potter reference, I imagined this as the angst of someone from Kiki's Delivery Service. The mundane creeps everywhere!

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    1. Intriguing. I'll have to check out Kiki's Delivery Service. Note, the reference to Harry Potter was more that they've been influenced by the books and added this to their repertoire (in their version since they learned to fly, they don't need brooms). Probably need to squeeze a little more of what's in my head into this one.

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  2. It's hard to feel sorry for a kid who can fly. I like the idea of chewy fairy snacks though.

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    1. Yep, 1st-fairy-world problems don't gain much sympathy.

      Don't worry the snacks aren't fattening either!

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  3. I think Bampton knows he's got it good. Faeries in a can packed like sardines is so droll; I was like that about fish as a kid and never flew even when I did finish my plate.

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    1. I fortunately was never inflicted with sardines as a child. Unfortunately, I was mostly inflicted with meat and potatoes.

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  4. Heheh! It reminds me of eating sardines straight from the tin.

    I like sardines... straight from the tin, so I may just like faeries too. :-)

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    1. You'll be right at home here. Flying in no time!

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  5. I find the image of tinned faeries extraordinarily gruesome. One wonders how they are "harvested."

    Neat little story. For me, magic and fantasy and horror. :)

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  6. I like my faeries with garlic. It disguises the taste. I would have loved to fly to school!

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  7. Oh, gross. Canned faeries. Poor things.

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  8. I love the unconventional way Bampton gains the ability to fly (I never would have thought to EAT the fairy!). I suppose a sprinkling of fairy dust just isn't enough! ;) Love your ideas as always.

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  9. Aww poor fairies! Still when a boys gotta fly he's gotta fly! I loved the description of him eating them! What an imagination Aidan! ^___^

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  10. Merlin's beard, can't they just buy him a broom? Never mind the flavour, all those little bones get stuck in your teeth...

    Hilarious!

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  11. Hi there Aidan -- ick, ick. Tinned fairies? Nice mashed on toast with mild chilli powder, but straight from the tin? Are they barbarians?

    Next story, how to make *proper* fairy cakes. St.

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  12. It's nice that even in fantasy, kids are fussy eaters!

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