Monday, February 22, 2010

Wonderland Police Department

A response to RJ Clarken's "Monday Morals" in Flashy Fiction.

Someone pounded on the door and Bill dabbed at his eyes. Lizards weren't supposed to cry even if a girl had broken his heart. A Bull Terrier, dressed in a navy blue uniform, had one paw raised to pound the door again and a WPD badge on the other paw. The maw of a Kerry Blue peered over the Bull Terrier's shoulder.

"Hi, I'm Officer Wilkins. Are you Bill?" Bill nodded. "Do you work for the White Rabbit?" Bill nodded again. What does this have to do with the White Rabbit? "We have some questions for you, do you mind if we come in?"

"Come in. I'm not in trouble am I?"

"Oh no, nothing like that. We're with the Moral Division of the WPD. Everything has a moral, it's our job to find it."

Bill showed them to the living room and opened the shades. Wadded tissues littered the couch and Bill pushed them to the corner. He motioned for them to sit and sat in a recliner across from them.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking would you like some coffee?"

"No. Can't drink while we are on duty. HQ radioed that Sarah dumped you."

"What," said Bill. Sarah had only called this morning.

"Sorry, I know it's personal but we're responsible for sniffing out any morals we can out of your situation. Duchess's orders."

"How do you know already?"

"News travels fast in Wonderland. So did you mistreat Miss Sarah?" Bill shook his head. "Did you woo her with chocolate, tell her funny stories, and sweep her off her feet?" Bill nodded.

"He's a lizard, maybe he brought cold feet to bed," said the Kerry Blue Terrier.

"No, I always warmed them in the last light of the sun before crawling into bed," said Bill.

"Well, think lizard. We don't have all day to unearth this moral," growled the Kerry Blue.

"Does it really matter, my heart is broken."

"I've got it," said Wilkins. "Self-pitying lizards make poor lovers."

"Pretty weak --"

"Yeah, but have you got a better idea? We've got a dozen more morals to dig up before hydrant and donuts."

"Quality these days. Okay."

"Hope you get over her soon," said Wilkins. "Don't worry about us, we'll let ourselves out."