Friday, February 4, 2011

The Flower Eaters

The day orb banishes the others, but not the visions gouged into
Billy's eyes. Abandoned in the mall's playarea, he remembers the
twisted shapes milking the dandelions. Sap stains their chins in the
moonlight while fires temper toothpick-sized spears.

"Mommy, mommy." Billy points at others-sized petstore kittens.

Harried, he suspects she'll say no. Her voice drops to her fighting
tones. "One of us should be happy."

Later, Billy cracks the door to let the kitten hunt the others.
Screeches tear the air.

The next morning, spikes pin the kitten's flayed skin to the door.
Billy's the only one to cry.


I posted this one last week on Lily's Friday Prediction. I haven't posted it here and decided to post it as my #fridayflash contribution because I'm jetlagged from my flight out to Sweden today. More coherent posts later.

15 comments:

  1. Whoa, this is freaky. I want to know more about the mom and this kitten. Just what is going on and what is making her so unhappy.

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  2. Nightmarish...

    "...he remembers the twisted shapes milking the dandelions. Sap stains their chins in the
    moonlight..."

    Love that bit. It has a wonderful grotesquery to it.

    The whole piece is like a shadow of innocence twisted by flickering candlelight.

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  3. Cool story! Makes me wonder what's going on with the mom.

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  4. @Lara, I ended up with her emotion but not the entire reason around it as I was working on narrowing this down to fit drabble size (100 words). The line had originally read: "Her voice drops to the fighting tones she uses when she fights with dad." Hope that doesn't ruin it by exposing the mystery.

    @John, excellent; I wanted to achieve nightmare.

    @Eric, thanks!

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  5. I guess the rest of that town just hated cats. Poor Billy should move. Quite gruesome.

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  6. Oh, I like the sound of these "Others"

    Small nasty things can be far more scary than big nasty things.

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  7. @John, absolutely. He better do that before it gets around that he's a kattaphile.

    @Steve, glad you like the others; they are certainly harder to weed.

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  8. Interesting tale, but I confess I had a bit of a hard time to understand it. I had no trouble at all to grasp the meaning of the end, tho. O.o

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  9. My eyes actually widened. It takes a lot for me to do that. I have tiny eyes and I'm rarely shocked by horror, but wow!

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  10. Poor Billy ;-( It was nice to see things through his eyes; it was painful too. I'm a sucker for writing that provokes emotions.

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  11. Even though I didn't understand what was going on until the end, I really enjoyed this piece. The imagery hit me more on second read than on first (since I knew more of what to picture then LOL).

    Poor kitty though :(

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  12. But how can you milk dandelions when they have such tiny udders? Lol No, really creepy piece - especially with so few words.

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  13. Nightmarish and creepy good.

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  14. @Mari, thanks for the feedback. It's always good to know what is working/not working for people.

    @GK, Glad you enjoyed this shocking experience.

    @Magaly, I find emotions can be difficult for me to sometimes get across; it's good to know that I succeeded in this instance.

    @Seleste, I really should have linked this art installation which matches with my view of The Others.

    @Ganymeder, LOL. I was more thinking of the thin milk that you find on the stem when you pinch it in half.

    @Tim, thanks!

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