Monday, November 16, 2009

The Chandolier Test

A response to RJ's "Musical Monday" in Flashy Fiction:

"Toby Felis, you should be very proud of your mommy today," said Agent Maximilian. Toby, his arms swinging at his side like a military cadet, followed Maximillian into the kitchen.

"I'm hungry," said Toby.

"Here, have a cookie," said Maximilian as he held out a crisp store-bought cookie. Maximilian rummaged through the cupboards. He didn't know why the agency had sent him out to take care of the brat. The pantry was filled with cans of black beans, tomatoes, corn and bottles of Kalamata olives, apparently Agent Felis was one of those supermoms who cooked everything from scratch. Finally, Maximilian found a can of Chef Boyardee forgotten in the rear of the cabinet.

"Where was I?" asked Maximilian looking down at the boy. "Right, you should be proud of your mommy."

"More cookies!" Toby cupped both of his tiny hands out in front of himself.

"As I was saying," Maximilian dropped three cookies into Toby's hands. "Your mom passed the chandelier test today. It was marvelous. She leapt from the top of the stairwell somersaulted and caught the edge of the chandelier. She kicked her legs up and wrapped them around the iron circle that supported the electrical lights while she swung upside down and disabled the simulated terrorists. Not a single asset was injured in the simulation. No one's done that well before."

"Where's mommy?"

Maximilian sighed. "Want some dinner?"

"No, you cook funny," said Toby. His fingers were full of saliva and crumbs that rained down on the tile floor. "I want mommy."

"She's got a little," Toby paused, "errand before she'll get home."

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