Friday, December 24, 2010

Christmas Cabin

God Julafton (Merry Christmas Eve), the following is my #fridayflash and entry in Loren Eaton's Advent Ghosts series. Check his blog for more.

Drafts remind Corbin to feed the cabin's fireplace. The tinderbox yawns revealing an emptiness marred by scraps of bark. Corbin shrugs remembering the owner's warning to stay inside after dark. Old man's lived in these woods too long. Might freeze if I listen to his crazy talk.

Light slivers around the door. Corbin hesitates. Through the windows, a pack of pines, festooned with garish lights, huddle. He won't wire the cabin but wastes it on the trees? Crazy!

He pushes through the crackling snow. A twig pops. A gnarled branch hangs over him as he falls into the red-tinged snow.

18 comments:

  1. Always heed an old man's warning :)

    That was creepy; intense. Kept me on the edge of my seat looking for more.

    ....dhole

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  2. The reason the old man lived there so long, is because he knows better than to go outside after dark, I don't know what's in them there woods, but I'll bet my last penny that it isn't good news.

    Happy Christmas Aidan.

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  3. Pleasantly brutal.

    So you remember that time that there was Christmas picture as a Flashy Fiction prompt and you and I both wrote about a dragon attack?

    Yeah, my Advent Ghost story takes place at a cabin.

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  4. Ah, serves him right for not listening! I loved that Nevets' piece was in a cabin, and I imagined mine in a cabin, and now yours. Nice. :)

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  5. Ooo, good work. This is another tale of those who can't live and learn

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  6. Now I'm scared. Huge pine outside my house. Lookin' at me funny.

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  7. @Donna, glad the tension worked for you.

    @Steve Green, you'll live long! God Jul!

    @Nevets, I remember we came up with similar stories but had to look through the flashy fiction archive to find the story. I was surprised at how similar the title and specific parts of the story were. Creepy... in a good way.

    @Michelle, isn't Christmas better in a cabin (of course, after readying, your piece, Nevets and mine I'm not sure I still want to spend that time in the cabin.)

    @Phil, thanks, Darwin works in mysterious ways.

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  8. Love the implication in this one, the idea that you know something's out there but you don't entirely know what it is. Carnivorous trees? Eldritch Xmas entity? Either way, it's bad and I'm glad I live in Florida -- warm, warm Florida.

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  9. Snow already tinged read, makes me wonder if there was another murder, or if it's the red of lighting that was going on out there. This might be my favorite of yours for how much it leaves the imagination, and how much it successfully makes me want to imagine.

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  10. Lots of bad things can happen in a cabin in the woods. Bloody snow. You left us with that image. Glad I'm not home alone!

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  11. Lights in the forest, there must be an explanation....love it. both the "slivers of light" around the door and the eeriness of the trees lit up painted a wonderful, creepy picture.

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  12. People should specify why one shouldn't go out after dark so at least the person who inevitability does it has fair warning. *shakes head* Nice, creepy Christmas story. I like that there is so much left to the reader's imagination.

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  13. This is Flash at its best. Every word counts and the ending comes like Bruce Lee's one-inch punch. Excellent.

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  14. Why do people *NEVER* listen to creepy old men that live in log cabins? *sigh* Youth today. He should have stayed inside. No good can come of this!

    Nice flash1

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  15. Creepy little story. He certainly should have listened.

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  16. Oh, very creepy. Always mind your elders, you might live longer. Great job conveying that sense of doom with an economy of words! :)

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  17. Have people learned NOTHING from horror movies? If someone warns you - you stick to it! This is a good warning against not listening to your elders, and not being prepared!

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  18. wow. an evil dead Christmas. real tight writing.

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